How to Outsmart a Narcissist

How - to - Outsmart - a - Narcissist

An individual displaying narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) may exhibit behavior such as arrogance, a sense of entitlement, self-centeredness, and a lack of empathy. NPD is a mental disorder that requires professional diagnosis and treatment. If you suspect someone in your life possesses narcissistic tendencies and has been mistreating you, we are here to offer assistance.

Dealing with their manipulative behaviors, mind games, or even emotional abuse may make it difficult to assert yourself in conversations or interactions. We have compiled various tips and suggestions to help you outsmart them, enabling you to create distance between yourself and the narcissist in your life and ultimately find inner peace.

Separate yourself from the person

Avoid individuals who mistreat you or cause you distress. Narcissistic supply refers to the emotional fulfillment that narcissists constantly seek. They obtain this supply through various means such as seeking attention, disregarding boundaries, or being excessively critical. To put an end to this supply, you can distance yourself as much as possible by:

· Taking ample time for oneself instead of always being accessible to a narcissistic partner.

· Ensuring that an ex-spouse with narcissistic tendencies does not receive a larger financial settlement in the course of the divorce proceedings.

· Blocking the phone number of a narcissistic parent means preventing them from contacting you or communicating with them via phone call.

· Giving your full effort every day while working for a boss who is self-centered and lacks empathy.

Disengage from their conversations

Take time to heal

Taking care of yourself is the most effective method to gain an advantage. Narcissists generally seek to be the focal point of your emotions and thoughts, as it gives them complete control. By allowing yourself the necessary time and distance to move forward, you can sever this connection and ultimately outsmart the narcissist. There are several beneficial ways to embark on the healing process after being involved in a toxic narcissistic relationship.

· Writing down your thoughts and emotions in a journal

· Remembering that you were not to blame for the abuse

· Practicing self-care

· Visiting a therapist

Accept accountability for your role in a disagreement

Assuming responsibility empowers you to steer the conversation. Certain narcissists find satisfaction in being pessimistic and belittling others. Rather than engaging in conflict, make it a priority to acknowledge your own shortcomings in the situation. This genuine admission can surprise the person and shift the direction of the conversation.

· Self-centered Partner: "I'm astonished at how disorganized the kitchen is. You never make any effort to tidy up in this household."

You are correct - I admit that I had promised to do the dishes after dinner, but I completely forgot. I take full responsibility for that.

· Narcissistic Parent: "Even though you have plenty of time available, it seems like you can never prioritize spending time with me."

You: "I comprehend your perspective. I admit that I was unaware of the passage of time during the previous week, and I apologize for neglecting to contact you.

· Previously, numerous narcissistic individuals faced criticism whenever they displayed vulnerability, which consequently led them to be reluctant to accept responsibility for their actions. Possessing knowledge of this particular psychological aspect can provide you with an advantage during a discussion.

React with empathy and respect

To prevent negativity, it is advisable to choose a more positive approach. Conflict gives narcissists a sense of power, so they tend to dominate conversations when you become defensive or try to retaliate. Instead, you can assert your authority by expressing empathy towards the situation, which can help them relax.

· Narcissistic partner expresses their disappointment and lack of trust towards the other person for forgetting to pick them up from work.
You probably felt extremely irritated and impatient when you had to wait for me. I completely empathize with your feelings and comprehend the reasons behind them.

· Self-centered Friend: "I'm shocked that you weren't able to join me at the cinema yesterday." You: "It must have been quite bothersome for you to have to watch the movie alone."

Remain calm and unaffected

One way to prevent the situation from getting worse is by not responding. A commonly used approach for dealing with narcissistic individuals is called the "Grey Rock Method." This involves distancing yourself from the narcissist and minimizing any interaction so that you become as uninteresting as a dull grey rock. Here are some suggestions on how to incorporate this method into your everyday life.

· End a conversation with a self-centered colleague prematurely and politely excuse yourself to focus on another task.

· When your self-obsessed partner attempts to provoke you, refrain from responding in any way.

· If you are conversing with a manipulative, narcissistic parent, make sure to remain focused on the subject at hand.

Disengage from their conversations

To prevent conflict, it is advisable to leave the situation. Certain narcissistic individuals possess the ability to manipulate and control conversations, often turning the focus onto you. By abruptly ending conversations and withdrawing, you are effectively outsmarting them and gaining the advantage.

· I need to go to the supermarket. I'll return at a later time!

· I apologize, but I must complete this task before the day ends.

· I have to leave, I can't expect this deadline to be met on its own!

Set and enforce clear boundaries

If you are treated poorly, don't be afraid to assert yourself. Narcissistic individuals constantly seek ways to manipulate and dominate others. However, by establishing and maintaining clear boundaries, you are denying them the power they crave. Determine which actions you are not prepared to tolerate and distance yourself from the narcissist whenever they cross that line.

· "I don't like being referred to by offensive names. I will leave the room until you can politely speak to me."

· "Guilt manipulation is childish, and I refuse to tolerate it. I will distance myself until you are willing to engage in a genuine discussion."

· The way you are speaking to me is disrespectful, and I find it unacceptable. I cannot continue discussing this until you can communicate with me politely.

Do not share your intentions and goals with others

Do not provide them with any information that can be used against you. A narcissist might attempt to gain control over you and exploit any knowledge they acquire about you to their advantage. It is wise to keep your intentions and desires hidden and refrain from disclosing them.

If you are going through a divorce with a narcissistic partner, you may pretend to desire the car while secretly desiring to keep the house. Your partner may unknowingly attempt to hinder your chances of acquiring the car, thinking they are exerting control, but in reality, they are unintentionally helping you.

Stay calm

Giving them the advantage of losing your composure could be detrimental. Numerous narcissists crave power and may attempt to provoke others into destructive discussions to maintain their dominance. To outwit a narcissist in such exchanges, it is paramount to avoid falling into their trap from the very beginning. When they strive to intensify the conversation, consider the following strategies:

· Giving them praise and admiration for their ability to concentrate and pay attention to details is something I always find remarkable.

· Requesting their viewpoint (“In what way would you have approached this situation differently?”)

· Making statements using the pronoun "we" ("I believe that both of us have said things that we feel remorseful about.")

Rely on your support system to confirm your perception of reality

If a narcissist attempts to gaslight you, causing you to question your own perception of reality, seek reassurance from your friends and loved ones. Share with them what the narcissist has said to you and allow your support system to confirm your experiences.

· "Last night, Kyle said some incredibly mean comments to me. However, when I confronted him about it, he dismissed my feelings by labeling me as 'too sensitive'. I can't help but wonder if I overreacted in that situation."

· "I brought up the matter with Angie and she denied it, claiming that I was fabricating things. Do you believe her explanation or do you think she is attempting to manipulate me?"

Go “no contact” with them

The most effective approach to deal with the situation is by keeping a distance and creating space. If someone in your life insists on having control and access to your life, cutting them out completely will deny them both. "No contact" is the healthiest and most long-lasting solution to handle a harmful relationship. The method of going no-contact involves removing them from all aspects of your life.

· Preventing them from accessing your phone and social media platforms.

· Steering clear of any mutual friends

· Refusing to contemplate them.

· If you are currently trapped in an abusive relationship, it may not be possible to cut off all communication with the abuser. However, if you cannot leave your partner immediately, it is important to begin developing a plan to escape in the future.

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